With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
