How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
He kissed a someone with a penis
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
