i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
A+ Viking dick
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
