I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
