I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
