i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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