why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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