Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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