WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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