why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
