mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
