last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
