Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
