Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
