Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
