so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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