I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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