Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
