I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize