why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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