i used baking grease as lip gloss
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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