Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
