So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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