It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
