I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I wish you could order shots online.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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