Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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