Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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