Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
