My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
