I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
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