dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
