I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
As shirtless as possible
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
