Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
