And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
These tits shall not be calmed
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
