wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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