some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
