Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
