I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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