just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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