11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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