Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Randomize
