I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
