Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
the liver wants what the liver wants
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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