Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
