a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize