The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
how do flat chested girls get laid?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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