coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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