I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
