I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
