question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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