your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
