I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
