Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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