Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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