so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
