This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
