"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
