Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
